{"id":8227,"date":"2000-07-26T09:30:19","date_gmt":"2000-07-26T00:30:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/online.tenrikyo.org\/?p=8227"},"modified":"2020-12-12T10:24:17","modified_gmt":"2020-12-12T01:24:17","slug":"hinokishin-school-celebrates-its-20th-anniversary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/online.tenrikyo.org\/?p=8227","title":{"rendered":"Hinokishin School Celebrates Its 20th Anniversary"},"content":{"rendered":"

On June 25 the Mission Department sponsored a convention which commemorated the 20th anniversary of Hinokishin School. Since its establishment in 1985, Hinokishin School has offered a variety of programs in which missionaries acquire knowledge and techniques useful for responding to social needs and thus promoting their missionary work effectively in their local communities. Those who finish the one-day preliminary course may advance to specialized courses that focus on such areas as caring for the elderly and the disabled and counseling. So far more than 48,000 people have enrolled in the preliminary course and a total of 12,000 studied in the specialized courses.<\/em><\/p>\n

Approximately 800 people attended the meeting on June 25, which featured a commemorative ceremony and a keynote address followed by a symposium. The keynote address was given by Emeritus I Professor Hayao Kawai at Kyoto University, a renowned psychologist who used to teach at Tenri University and is currently director general of International Research Center for Japanese Studies. The following is a summary of his speech entitled “It is truly difficult to be helpful to others.”<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Today marks the 20th anniversary of Hinokishin School. As it is said that ten years make an epoch, the fact that the school has continued for 20 years is a wonderful thing.<\/p>\n

I have been involved in the school since its early years. By that time, I had been teaching at Tenri University for many years and, in this connection, I was asked by the late professor Hachiro Haseyama at Tenri University, “How about delivering lectures at the Counseling Course of Hinokishin School?”<\/p>\n

How delighted Professor Haseyama would be if he were alive now and saw the present Hinokishin School which has become so enriched!<\/p>\n

Though counseling has become known to the public nowadays, there were few who knew about it when I came to Tenri University in 1955. Professor Haseyama recognized the significance of counseling at that time and encouraged me by saying, “Counseling is so important that the course should be opened at Tenri University.” Such being the case, I have a lot of memories of him and I cannot forget him.<\/p>\n

(Continued on the next page<\/a>)
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\nBeing neither too close to nor too distant from each other<\/strong><\/p>\n

I suppose that most of those who are here have an idea of being helpful to others or saving others even for a little. To tell the truth, I also had the same idea when I was young and chose this field as my vocation.<\/p>\n

However, before long, I came to understand how difficult it was to be helpful to others. It might seem easy to meet a specific demand of a person, such as the demand of a bedridden old man that he wants to take a bath. We would simply think that he will be very happy if we let him take a bath. But this is a shallow idea.<\/p>\n

As those who have experienced it may know, it is not easy to let a bedridden old person take a bath. When we do so, we should know how to carry the person in our arms and how to take off the clothes, which are also different between men and women or from person to person. If the old person were able to take a bath with the help of others, the person would feel thankful for it. If we could not let the old person take a bath smoothly, however, the person would not feel truly thankful for it.<\/p>\n

Accordingly, those who wish to be helpful to others have to study and train all the time. Thinking in this way, I also have been training myself so that I might be helpful to others.<\/p>\n

In the case of counselors like us, it becomes more difficult to be helpful to others because we take care of people’s minds. For example, if a boy who refuses to go to school came to see me, though I wish to be helpful to him in some way, I would not be so hasty as to persuade him to go to school as soon as possible.<\/p>\n

The reason is that I cannot predict what will come into being from the fact that he does not go to school. Therefore, I keep listening to what he says without disturbing his talk even if he tells me something that seems to have nothing to do with the issue at hand. What I wish is not to force my idea on him but to give a hint to him so that he can find his way of life by himself. Listening to what others say is the most important thing for counselors.<\/p>\n

Listening attentively to what others say and agreeing with others, however, are different. For example, if I say “yes” responding to the boy’s saying that his mother is unpardonable, it means that I agree with him. Maintaining a relationship of being neither too close to nor too distant from each other is truly difficult.<\/p>\n

(Continued on the next page<\/a>)<\/p>\n

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\nWhat is right is difficult to practice<\/strong><\/p>\n

When we intend to help others, the kind of cooperative relationship we have with the persons whom we intend to help is very important. Some will talk and preach to others as if they were in a higher position by saying, “You should not do such a thing,” or “Pull yourself together!”<\/p>\n

Recently, I have often been invited to meetings concerning diabetes. There are clinical psychologists who take care of the patients with diabetes at Ikoi-no-Ie Hospital in Tenri, which is a wonderful thing. Though doctors give advice to their patients regarding diet or exercise, their advice has hardly been heeded. As a result, doctors and nurses are worrying about why their advice has not been heeded and what they should do to have their patients put the advice into practice, and, finally, they invite us psychologists.<\/p>\n

One day, I said to doctors and nurses as follows: “You have a serious illusion. Though you may think that people will listen to you if you say something right, such an idea is a complete mistake.”<\/p>\n

That is, for human beings, what is right is difficult to practice. Even if we were told to do a right thing with a proper reason, we cannot put it into practice immediately. Even the slightest change of mind is a serious matter for us human beings. We should understand the fact that people are hard to change.<\/p>\n

Some of you, however, might say that you know a person who drastically changed in a single day after you had given him appropriate advice. I also experienced such a case. Such a case indicates that the person who immediately put what he had been told into practice is a marvelous one. Such a marvelous case could be found only once or twice in a decade. Accordingly, if we wish to be of any help to many others, we have to keep listening to them patiently.<\/p>\n

A person who gets counseling is on the wane in his life. Therefore, if we wish to be of any help to a person through counseling, we should go along with him to the end and wait for the person’s conversion that would take place in due time. When we come to realize this, we might be called expert counselors who are able to listen and wait.<\/p>\n

(Continued on the next page<\/a>)<\/p>\n


\nWhat is true changes slowly and surely<\/strong><\/p>\n

People often ask me, “Isn’t there a quicker way?” I don’t think there is. To be sure, there are some who drastically change by a single word like a boy who has not gone to school for a long time begins to go to school after one counseling.<\/p>\n

However, such a boy will, in general, return to the original situation in due course of time. The reason is that such a drastic change is not a true one. I think a true change takes place slowly and surely. There certainly are some who will not return to the original situation once they have made a drastic change. But, in this case, I cannot help but worry about what will happen in their future.<\/p>\n

They are just like weather vanes that quickly turn direction by a blast of wind. A quick turn to the opposite direction suggests that they will easily go back to the original direction.<\/p>\n

Though we counselors tell our clients, “Please tell me anything,” or “I will listen to whatever you may say,” they rarely begin to talk in response to our request. On such an occasion, I ask them, “What do you like?” For what they like will often provide us with a clue in forecasting their future path.<\/p>\n

In the case with children who have problems, it will not do to give advice or preach to them. Instead, if there were a boy who likes to play soccer, it is better to let him play soccer with his whole heart. At that time, the boy might change step by step.<\/p>\n

Such a boy can broaden his horizons through sports and build up new relationships with others. Instructors of sports know many such cases.<\/p>\n

In my case, after asking, “What do you like?” I also ask, “Which part of it is interesting?” To this question, children may answer in various ways according to their characters, such as “I like team work.” As I continue conversing with the client, for example, with a boy who likes soccer, I come to find something that overlaps with what is happening in his mind. Though the boy may think that he is talking about soccer, he actually is talking about his life. I feel I have to follow him along the path that he wishes to follow.<\/p>\n

However, children with serious problems often say that they have nothing they like, they just want to die, or they cannot find any meaning in life. In these cases, we should not tell them not to die but ask them why they want to die. While we are listening to them patiently, they begin to change little by little. Counselors are required to wait until this stage while making an effort to find something in common with the clients.<\/p>\n

There is no knowing what will mediate between a counselor and a client during counseling. It might be a dog, exercise, or ill condition of a body. Through these media, we counselors will approach the mind of clients.<\/p>\n

(Continued on the next page<\/a>)<\/p>\n


\nWhat is meant by betrayal<\/strong><\/p>\n

Finally, I want to talk about betrayal. While we are eagerly making efforts to save others, we sometimes encounter betrayal. A man who came to see me said, “I was betrayed by someone I trusted. It was just like a dog biting the hand that feeds it.” Then I said to him, “I understand, but you should not compare the person to a dog because that person is a human.”<\/p>\n

While we are trying to help others, if we put ourselves in a higher position by unconsciously discriminating between those who will save others and those who will be saved and look down on those who will be saved as if they were pet dogs, it is natural that we are bitten. However eagerly we may be engaging in saving others, both those who will save and be saved are equally humans. Lack of this understanding is a trap into which those who are engaging in saving others tend to fall. Unless we realize this trap, we cannot truly save others.<\/p>\n

Let me tell you a story that took place in the old days when people could not get sufficient food. A passionate junior high school teacher was trying to get a mischievous boy back on the right track. Since the boy had no home to return to, the teacher put him up at his lodging and, because the boy was good at running, developed his ability at running. The boy finally was chosen as the anchor of an interclass relay race at an athletic meet. The teacher was very glad that the boy had changed and was proud of it. However, the day before the athletic meet, the boy stole the teacher’s pay envelope and ran away.<\/p>\n

The teacher lost face completely by this incident, and came to see me. While he was saying, “I have been betrayed by the boy,…” I was just listening to him silently. Then I said to the teacher, “You have had a hard time! It must have been a heavy blow to you.” I continued, “But children would not do anything without reason. There must have been some reason” Then the teacher said, “I understand. I have gotten puffed up.”<\/p>\n

But I had different ideas. I thought that the boy wanted to convey a message to the teacher like this: “You must be happy because I have been getting better. But life is not so easy. I have been betrayed by others whenever I trusted them. You cannot be happy so easily even if things have come out as well as you had expected for just once.”<\/p>\n

I also thought that the boy wanted to say to the teacher: “Can you still love me after you have experienced that a complete trust has suddenly turned out to be a complete distrust?” or “I have been betrayed by others many times in my life, so, you teacher, how about going through betrayal at least once?” I told these my ideas to the teacher.<\/p>\n

When the teacher realized what I had said, the boy came back. Strange enough, when we change our mind, they also will begin to change. Human beings are marvelous. They have something invisible that can communicate with each other.<\/p>\n

I have experienced this many times. On each of these occasions, I reconsidered and realized many things such as that I was still a man of poor caliber. But thankfully, when I noticed my misunderstanding, I was able to try once again. While repeating this process, I came to be helpful to others slowly and surely. I still have an idea, however, that it is essentially difficult to be truly helpful to others.<\/p>\n

If we hope to be truly helpful to others, we have to ponder and train ourselves through various incidents. While going through this process again and again, I think, we would become truly helpful to others slowly and surely.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On June 25 the Mission Department sponsored a convention which commemorated the 20th anniversary of Hinokishin School. Since its establishment in 1985, Hinokishin School has offered a variety of programs in which missionaries acquire knowledge and techniques useful for responding to social needs and thus promoting their missionary work effectively\u2026<\/p>\n

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